A Letter To The Daughter I May Never Have

That you find beauty in yourself regardless of what anyone else tells you. What I wish for you, is to follow your heart even when TV and boys and magazines tell you otherwise. What I wish for you, is that when you’re 27, you actually know what you want, and you don’t feel like a nomad with too many ideas that you don’t have the funds to carry out.

amanda trusty says

My dearest daughter,

I’m writing this to you at age 27, at which point I still don’t know how to change a diaper.

And I have to tell you right away, I live in a world where planes crash unexpectedly, and love doesn’t always win, and I eat pesticides for breakfast. My neighbors fight when they’re drunk and my friends have cancer and twelve-year-old students sell pot out of their lockers at school. I’m sorry darling, but this world is no place for a child.

I’m looking at a beautiful bouquet of flowers on the kitchen table that your potential daddy bought me three days ago and they’re wilted because I forgot to change the water. The sink is dirty and the recycling bin smells like sour milk and Coca-Cola. My home is no place for a child to grow.

But goodness it would be so gorgeous to meet you…

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The Sweetest Thing

Sometimes, the smallest acts of compassion seem to be beautiful and larger than life. Physical beauty will fade in time. Maybe intelligence will, too. Friends will come and go along the way. But compassion … If that stays with my girl, I think she will be all right. And, perhaps, the world will be a better place, too. I know my corner of it is. That’s the sweetest gift of all.

Pish's Blog of Loveliness

Although it seems like eons ago, I remember being pregnant with my daughter. I remember those months of waiting, anticipating, worrying, and wondering. What would she look like? What would she be like? Would she have my laugh and her father’s head for math and directions? No, seriously … It seems like a silly thing, but a good sense of direction is important in life. I have been known to get completely turned around in the city in which I lived for a number of years. My father always told me I could get lost in a wet paper bag.

We all want the best of everything for our children. We probably wouldn’t ever admit this out loud, but we want them to be more beautiful than we ever were. We want then to be smarter. We want them to feel they can dangle the world at the end of…

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I don’t feel like procreating right now. Let’s move on shall we?

I think this lady has a point.

There only reason you should ever bring a child into this world is if you can’t live without doing so. The only reasonable motivation for me is LOVE. Not fear of loneliness; not a misguided sense of obligation; and NEVER for any kind of control over others or financial gain.

Shoot the Messenger

A weird thing happened the day that I got engaged. Apparently a memo was sent out to every individual I was ever to come into contact with for the rest of my adult life, informing them that they had a vested interest in the contents (or lack thereof) of my womb.

I’ve been married for nearly three years now, and I can say – hand on heart – that not a single month has gone by in that period (pardon the pun) where a person hasn’t asked me the question. THAT question. The question that makes my stomach clench, my blood boil in my body, and my mind scamper to and fro like a trapped mouse:

“So, when are you having kids then?”

At first I’d laugh it off. Surely they were just being friendly. The news of a new marriage is kind of like the news of a bereavement…

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I am in love with you.

I am in love with you.

Not the who you want to be,
Nor the who you were,
But the who you are,
At every moment we spend together.

You might not be perfect,
You might not even be the best boyfriend out there.
But you are the perfect boyfriend for me.
Isn’t that what really matters?

You see me,
Outside and inside and you’re okay with everything you see.
You tell me,
Things you’ve never told anyone else, trusting cause you know you can.

I want you to be you.
And I know you’ll let me be me.

And together,
We’ll celebrate light,
And fight darkness,
Every step of the way.

Life : One day at a time.

For the longest time I remembered things.
Promises made, words uttered, moments felt.
They played around in my head like an endless tape,
Causing me happiness or sadness at a whim.

But now.
No memory, no nothing.

I prefer it this way.
Living life one day at a time.

Words: Do you pay attention?

They have the power to sooth as much as wound,
They can flow out like a torrent without any thought or care,
They can get buried inside you, even when you wish to let it out, just because you are scared.

The moment I thought of this subject, there was a torrent of thoughts that crossed my mind, cause I believe in the power of words, I believe in their ability to sooth. 

But people, people don’t understand. In today’s fast paced world where everyone wants to be the center of attention all the time, they don’t seem to mind interrupting someone when they are talking. They don’t have the patience to wait and hear the other person’s perspective.

Every time I sit with a group of people I wonder, what is the point of talking all the time?
Do your words, thoughts have any meaning attached to them?
Do people listen, or even pay attention to what you are saying?

Words, the crux of communication

       Words, the crux of communication.

I’ve often been told that am getting quieter these days. And yes I am. But you see, I’ve started paying attention to people. I’ve started paying attention to the words they use, the different meaning every person associates with each word. I know and understand better, I see things more clearly, when before I was too busy trying to put my point across without understanding the other person.

Paying attention to these words helps me know people, understand them and their feelings and situation better. And this seems to help them too. I don’t offer insight or advice to anyone unless specifically asked.
Just talking to someone who actually listens and asking the right question can go a long way in giving clarity to a heart or mind filled with turmoil.

I also believe in the power of paying attention to the thoughts, those million words that spin around in your head. If you pay enough attention to those thoughts, they will help you understand what matters to you, what are the things which bother you and most importantly, who you are. And that really is what we must pay attention to.
What is the point of knowing, understanding other people and their words, when you don’t even know your own? If you don’t even pay attention to the words inside?

Do we ever stop loving?

I often find myself going back in time, revisiting those memories and people associated with it, often finding different insight into what was.

But that’s the thing about memories isn’t it? You can twist and wind it as per your mood and no one can ever question it. In the recesses of your mind, the memory becomes your story. You can make it anything you want it to be.

There are a few people who touch your lives. They just get you. It’s like they were made to fit a part of you that was incomplete until they came. And then for a while they complete that part, playing that important role they were always meant to play, as if their part in your story was already planned, that they were just waiting for the right moment to enter your life and turn it around.

But it might so happen that they may not remain a part of your life always. We have all been born alone and will die alone. These people we meet help us make stories, those stories which make our life.

Does that mean that once they leave, once their part in our life is over, that we stop loving them? Does it matter how the bond you shared ended?
Does the part of you that they completed when they entered your life, ever get filled by anyone else?
Do you ever stop loving them?

I don’t think love ever ends. No matter what you go through, no matter how horribly it ends, you can never unlove a person. There, at that moment in time, you loved a part of that person and no circumstance can ever change that. Love when given, is pure and complete and when you give it to another person, willingly, wholeheartedly, it belongs to them, forever.

Every person who touches your life, who matters to you, will own a small space in your heart. It can never be filled or replace by another and you shouldn’t want that to happen.

The beauty of life, of the experiences we share is that each experience is unique and we must cherish each relationship, giving love and affection freely, cause really do we really know how long we have with the one we love?


"...Meanwhile in my head, I am undergoing open-heart surgery......." --Anne Sexton

The Cipher story

Nothing is absolute, not even the truth! Here is my view point on everything around me.

Amanda Trusty Says

it's time to shed some bright ass light on emotional eating, body love, and the roar we wish to see in this world.

Pish's Blog of Loveliness

Photography, Fiction, and Musings on Life

Shoot the Messenger

Straight from the hip

Gotta Find a Home

Conversations with Street People


Well i do think about more but for starters...

Chris Martin Writes

Sowing seeds for the Kingdom