In Regret
What a heady feeling it is to be impulsive. To act without thought, to hell with repercussions.
But like every thought, every action has a ripple effect. And sometimes this ripple effect turns into a tornado which no matter how much you try, you cannot control.
I’ve been known to be impulsive. On most days I’m even okay with it, in fact I embrace it.
But today, today I live in regret. I lost my closest friend, my safe haven to an impulse, a stupid impulse which I should have kept in check.
I lost the boy who got me flowers, who wrote me Hey There Delilah, who catered to my every whim and fancy for a boy who could never be mine, who now seems more like a stranger than ever.
I’ve never regretted a single moment in my life, but I regret that.
I’ve always pursued the elusive, the hard to get, all the while taking for granted those people who keep me sane. Enough. No more.
I wish I could come to you and beg you to forgive me, one more time. This time I promise to keep your trust. Missing you is like a physical thing, the pain is tangible.
But I won’t. I cannot will not beg you to let me in. I loved you which is why I let you go. I know you can’t be just friends. But I want you to know, I regret, regret the mistake I made.